Dinner Table Discussions...with a 4-year-old

My discussion at the dinner table tonight was a little more than odd. Kids have so many off the wall questions that make you scratch your head and wonder, 'where do they come up with this stuff?'. So this was my conversation with my 4 year old at the table.

Him: "Mama, what happens if Santa Clause dies and goes to heaven?"

Me: "Um...don't worry honey, Santa won't die."

Him: "But mama, what if he does? Who will give me presents?"

Me: "Honey, Santa can't die...don't worry."

Him: "I know...if Santa dies then the woman Santa can bring me presents."

Me: "There isn't a 'woman Santa'."

Him: "Yes there is mama, I saw her in a picture. She's a fat lady with white hair."

Me: (laughing my ass off) "Oh honey, that's Santa's wife, Mrs. Clause. She doesn't make presents and give them out that's Santa's job."

Him: "Well then what does she do? I know, she must eat all of Santa's extra cookies because she's fat too."

Me: (WTF? lol) "No, honey she is the one that takes care of the elves and helps them wrap presents."

Him: "Well then if Santa dies she can bring me presents and an elf."

Me: (sigh) "Ok honey, whatever you say."

What do you say to that? His imagination was obviously going ape and there was nothing I could say to help ease his mind that Santa can't/won't die. And if he does there's no way that 'the fat, white-haired, woman Santa' is going to bring him his much desired elf! Ahh....kids! lol