My little bitch fest

So I've got "good" news and bad news today! Please excuse my bitch fest but I gotta get it out!

We've been worried about our youngest possibly having autism since she was a very little baby. She constantly bangs her head against things, hits her head, throws herself on the floor and screams and bangs her head against the floor, repeatedly claps her hands, is behind in speech and doesn't like to interact with other kids. She used to not make eye contact but has been now for a while, so we're not worried about that anymore. Her pediatrician referred us to take her to a specialist to get her checked out but since she has good days I sometimes think that I shouldn't worry. I don't know how else to explain it other than there are days when it seems the light switch is on and then there are days when the light switch is off. It's either all or nothing, black or white, there's no in between or gray area with her.

On the good days she acts like a normal child, she plays, "talks", and interacts. On her bad days nothing can/will soothe her and she is completely out of control angry, frustrated and inconsolable. So today we had our Parents As Teachers lady here and while she was observing her said that she doesn't think it's autism but maybe something more along the lines of a sensory issue. She said that with her hitting, banging and dumping things on her head constantly and not doing it for attention that she thinks it some sort of sensory thing. Also she claps her hands repetitively. And is still a bit behind in speech and play with others; she likes to be by herself. So that's my "good" news. She is giving me a number to call and get someone out here to observe her for that and if they think she qualifies then they will come out once a week and do therapy and observations with her. And also give me some support and ideas to help her.

The bad news...my oldest daughter's teacher called me today and said that she isn't doing well at school. She has ADD/ADHD and has been on meds for some time now. Since we had to get a new insurance for the kids (my hubs and I are without for right now) until we all get permanent insurance her usual meds are not covered so we had to switch them, plus the doctor doubled her dose. I can tell BIG time that by the time she gets home from school her meds are worn off and I can't get her to do any homework or reading, so I've been a little concerned about how she's doing in school. Her teacher said that even though she can spend most of the day explaining something to her and she will get it for a while, when she goes back to practice with her again she has already lost the information and doesn't know what she's doing. So she thinks that my daughter has a problem with her learning retention. They tested her last year for a learning disability but they thought she was fine, but I think her teacher is still wondering about it. So she is going to watch her over the next two weeks and possibly refer her to go through more tests to find out what the problem is so that we can get her on task.

I have to say that I am very sick and tired of there constantly being something going on with my kids! I just wish that my kids could be normal kids with no health problems and/or learning problems. I know that things could be worse; they always can be so I'm grateful that things are not worse than what they are right now. But good gracious, c'mon! My oldest has the above issues, my son has numerous health issues (and might be needing his 5th eye surgery soon) and my youngest possibly has sensory issues. My husband works about 45 hours a week so looking to him for support doesn't go too far because he's either not here to see what's going on to understand or give feedback or is at work and can't do/say anything to help. I'm overwhelmed and tired. I'm exhausted and sad. I just need something to go right or get better. Sorry for the bitch fest but I've just had it today.